Is being a dad hard?

First, let me say that this is not about politics. This is about the reality of parenting.

Here is a wonderful add showing just why President Obama is, in my mind, one of the most intelligent men of our day.

There are longer versions of this add that are worth listening to.

In principal there is nothing wrong with this add. In reality this add sets an authoritative principle that is probably the most dangerous thing I have heard lately. Primarily that being a dad "doesn't have to be hard, all it takes is a few minutes of your time."

The danger here is the idea that being a dad should be an easy "task" in your day. Of all the "good dads" that I know, not one of them believes that being dad is anything but hard and all consuming. Being a dad is about more than dinner, playing games, asking a few questions. The reality is that being a dad involves deciding when to say no, proper discipline, and being willing to give everything you have.

A slightly more insidious problem is the person watching this who struggles with "being dad" and sees their efforts as a failure. What do they see in this? Confirmation of their failure, an excuse to quit, proof that the problem is someone else? Kind of like the person who never tries because they are not qualified. I know that feeling because I see myself that way.

While I respect President Obama's position and believe that it is held with the best of intents, I feel that dad's need to remember that they have one of the toughest, most demanding, longest running jobs. Raising kids.

I'm just glad I am not a mom. That job is real hard.

Stream of conscio ... nonsense

At what point do I stop the meaningless words? I know they are kids, but a jackhammer would be less annoying. That noise would serve a purpose. This … this is just nonsense.

The tongue is a small part of the body …

James 3 makes an interesting point about the danger of not controlling your tongue. Sure the babbling is harmless now but habits start small and end with large disasters. I know from experience.

Growing up my parents treated me to a nightly snack. A little ice cream or popcorn. Now my night is not complete without it. This habit, which was innocent and a demonstration of my parents love, developed into me eating half gallons of ice cream every night. No wonder I am obese.

The corruption of innocence is what sin brings to man. As a parent, a father, don't I have a responsibility to stop "innocent habits" that have a high potential to lead to corruption?

When dad is sick

Men like to fix things. Maybe not just "like to" but we feel that we need to. That is our job, right? And sickness is just the body broken, isn't it? Thinking of my reaction to when the kids or the Mrs is ill, I see it just this way. I want to fix them and get life back on track.

What happens when the man, the husband, the dad is the one that is sick? Do we try to fix ourselves? Do we pretend that nothing is wrong? Do we expect others to wait on us hand and foot like we are gods? I think how we deal with sickness is pretty telling about who men really are.

Let's look at me. I have a tendency to pretend that I am fine. Keep right on chugging along until the engine is completely wrecked. I might take an aspirin, but I don't really stop. As a matter of fact I have a flu bug while I am writing this. While I don't think I expect this from the kids or the wife, I think evidence would prove me wrong. Which means that instead of fixing, I have actually destroyed. May be just a few lung cells, but sill, something has been destroyed.

Big deal.

Actually it is. Here is why. Sin is spiritual sickness, right? And if my attitude toward physical sickness it to pretend that it doesn't exist, then why would I expect my attitude toward spiritual sickness to be any different? And even worse, wouldn't I expect others to put on a similar front, a false cover, on their spiritual sickness?

Which means that first I lie to myself about my state of health, then I demand that others lie to me about their state of health. In either the physical or spiritual realm, I demand hypocrisy from myself and others. I want to look healthy while I slowly decay from sickness.

I suspect you are reading this saying "I sure am glad I am not you!" I would ask you to look at yourself, a real long, hard look and make sure that you really are different. The "fixer" and "wait on me" have their own problems but I don't want to comment on them. There are more attitudes out there, and somewhere there is the attitude of God.

What I really want to say is I think we, as men, need to do a much better job of being honest with ourselves about how we deal with sickness. Both the physical kind and the spiritual kind. We need to be certain that our attitudes change inside us first so that the outward demonstrations are not those of a hypocrite. And we need to make sure that what is inside is really God, not just another work of ourselves.

What does it take to change the world?

Last night we watched Amazing Grace. This raised, again, the questions that I am always fighting with. Namely:

1. What does one need to be willing to give to change the world?

2. How does one actually go about changing the world?

I will not pretend to have answers to these. As a matter of fact I don't think these are answerable questions. Look at Mother Theresa and Bill Gates. Both have changed the world for the better, but no one would suggest that they made anything approaching "in kind" sacrifices. What does this mean?

I think parents need to be careful how we portray "world changing". It is easy to set up goals or stereotypes that are, quite honestly, impossible. Bill Gates could never be Mother Theresa, Likewise Mother Theresa could never have been Bill Gates. Yet both are well beyond me. Does that mean that I can never change the world?

Let's be honest. Yes. And no. Not every person is here to make global contributions to the suffering masses. But we are all able to change someone's world. I can show my children what it means to love, what caring looks like, how to be generous. I can live a life my neighbors envy, not for its financial prosperity, but for its peace and contentment.

A one man revolution? Maybe. At least my world will be changed.