Success

I was thinking about success and it dawned on me that success is often seen from the wrong angle. Kind of like two folks looking at a painting. One person sees the Mona Lisa, another see a piece of wood. I arrived at this conclusion by looking at my own confusion about how folks see me.

Many folks see me as successful. I often agree out of politeness and a basic understanding of what they are saying. I have a great job, plenty of income to meet my need (if not my wants), a great house, and the respect of much of my community. None of which I see as success. As confusing as this seems let me explain my position.

When I set out on the life with my wife the plan was to be a musician. We would see the world and be active in changing it. Our lives would be tough, but the joy of helping others would keep us going. If we had kids we would raise them to strive for rightness and justice while being compassionate and merciful. Out of all my goals in life only the last one has been reached. I failed on the others. Am I successful? Not if I use my own objectives as the standard.

Let me make an absurd example to prove my point. If Warren Buffet set out to be the richest man in the world, was he successful? Ranked at number two the answer is no. We can admire him for his accomplishments but he did not succeed. Period.

I think this is a critical lesson that we need to get through our heads. We can tell our kids, our spouse, our friends, even our selves how successful they/we are, but unless we agree on the measure of success we are only lying. And it is a poor lie at that.

Resumé pain

Resumés are tough. Entire industries are built around making this "first impression" as perfect as possible. This makes me wonder about the real effectiveness of the resumé in todays professional world. Let me explain.

I last submitted a resumé 10 years ago. At the time I was a highly technical, "keyboard" monkey who was landing the ideal job for the future I could see. Fast forward 10 years and I am now a manager of a highly technical group I am still a "tech head" but I have lost the propeller (this from my former boss). The down side is that I am no longer certain the "future I can see" makes my current job ideal.

An opportunity presented itself to apply for another "ideal" position. After spending time reconstructing my resumé I began to fear that I was putting to much lipstick on this pig. The resumé I wound up with is accurate. My peers who reviewed it feel that it properly portrays my strengths. They agree that it is an HONEST representation of me and good by resumé standards.

The problem is that when I look at this resumé I don't really see me. What I see is a highly polished, idealized view a someone who might be me. Keep in mind this is my resumé. I wrote it. Which leads me to the conclusion that resumés do not provide real information about a person.

Yes, the interview is where we dig into the person, but how do we know who to interview?

This is why entire industries have be built around interpreting resumés.

Surprises

Today I was reminded that everything is not as it seems. I was surprised by a revelation that a person i knew online was not what they seemed. I don't want to make this about online safety, but please remember rule #1 when using the 'net: Don't believe anything you see online until you have verified it using some other method.

Anyway, the point I am struggling to make is that even a careful person can be surprised. while my surprise was harmless other surprises are dangerous. Nature shows us that predators try to blend in, or look like something that is harmless. We need to remember that everyday.

Idiot

Not them, me. I find that I am, without a doubt, guilty of being an idiot. Frequently. My only excuse is that I forget to "let go" of a problem and let it rest. Instead, I hold on, trying to control my feelings which allows things to fester.

Maybe I will learn to deal with my feelings like a human being before I am dead. Until then I will be the biggest idiot I know.

Hard decisions

These are hard:

• Can your kid do more than one "big thing"?
• Do you make your kid stop one thing to try another?
• How much do you pay so your kid can "find them-self"?

But at least we are not having to decide on a rehab facility. Or an obstetrician. Or a psychiatrist. Maybe my decisions are not really that hard after.

New tools

Change is sometimes good, sometimes bad. I my line of work is seems that bad change is more frequent than good change. This might explain why I hold onto tools that are 'dead". That said I am trying a few new tools for making blog posts. Hopefully I will find one that I like.

This doesn't mean that the old tool is bad, but that my confidence in it is shot due to neglect. Just like with plants, you sometimes need to "plow under" the old stuff to make room for productive growth.

Trying again

Things happen. Right?

Looking at my last post there I realize that the excuses need to stop. Either do, or don't. If you are not going to do, then stop talking and move on.

Let's see what happens this time.