I was thinking about success and it dawned on me that success is often seen from the wrong angle. Kind of like two folks looking at a painting. One person sees the Mona Lisa, another see a piece of wood. I arrived at this conclusion by looking at my own confusion about how folks see me.
Many folks see me as successful. I often agree out of politeness and a basic understanding of what they are saying. I have a great job, plenty of income to meet my need (if not my wants), a great house, and the respect of much of my community. None of which I see as success. As confusing as this seems let me explain my position.
When I set out on the life with my wife the plan was to be a musician. We would see the world and be active in changing it. Our lives would be tough, but the joy of helping others would keep us going. If we had kids we would raise them to strive for rightness and justice while being compassionate and merciful. Out of all my goals in life only the last one has been reached. I failed on the others. Am I successful? Not if I use my own objectives as the standard.
Let me make an absurd example to prove my point. If Warren Buffet set out to be the richest man in the world, was he successful? Ranked at number two the answer is no. We can admire him for his accomplishments but he did not succeed. Period.
I think this is a critical lesson that we need to get through our heads. We can tell our kids, our spouse, our friends, even our selves how successful they/we are, but unless we agree on the measure of success we are only lying. And it is a poor lie at that.
