Let me start with the obvious. I don't know. What I do know is that many things that we think are important are not. Things like school, jobs, "quality time", being right. That last one is the big one.
After a fight with the daughter I wonder if importance is less of an absolute scale, a zero to ten rank, and more of a relational scale. Something like X is more important than Y but less important than Q and on line with T. Then the next day you find that T is more important than Q so now X is also more important than Q as well. I am convinced that the reality is this relational scale is the only real way to determine what is and is not really important.
The problem is that when we change the importance of T should we really have elevated X as well? Or do we simply maintain the T and X relationship out of habit? I am willing to bet that habit is the driver more than a real evaluation of X. Big stinking deal. Except that if we don't really evaluate X then we are now moving away from the relational scale and back to the absolute scale.
I am not saying that we should map out all that relationships between that "things" that are important to us and reevaluate this map every moment of every day. What I am saying is that we should be cognizant that what is important today may not be as important tomorrow. Likewise, what is unimportant today me be the most important thing tomorrow.
One of our jobs as parents, is to demonstrate this to our kids by making sure that we place the right level of importance on what we do.
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