We finally got one. This morning we had a coon in the trap. Looking guilty with all its handy work as a back drop, it was huddled right up against the door. I had resolved to destroy the animal, assuming I caught one, but now I had to figure out how. In a giant flash of inspiration it dawned on me that I could call the animal control folks and the village might take care of it for me (in reality it was the Mrs. idea, but I stole it!). A phone call later I found out that I had the right to destroy the animal by state law, but in fact there was no humane way to terminate a coon. Not only that, but it is forbidden to release an animal into the wild without a license. Oh and transporting it if also "against the law". Finally releasing it into the village is a violation as well. Here I am, coon in a cage, trying to pick which law to break.
…
I hope the ability to show mercy is what separates us from the animals. I will go to jail willingly for this crime.
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